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CNN NEWS MEN SUPER HEROES


TALK FUNNY


Jet on Bill 


Jet: I just think Bill Hemmer is the hottest thing to ever walk the face of the earth. Oh if I could have him alone for even five minutes, what I wouldn't do to that man. I just want to lick every inch of him. I want to go to NYC and hook up with him so bad I can taste it. Bill will you marry me PLEASE??? I promise I will give you lots of babies like I know you want and we sure will have a great time conceiving them all!!!!!!!

Sindhu Kumar: Jet...you are crazy!

Ann Stewart: Jet...you a cool freak!!!

Sean's Hot For Thomas 

Sean P.: Thomas Roberts is hot. I'm a guy, and if I slept with men, he'd be the one!

Ann Stewart: Well Sean I don't want to think about that. That is a pretty ugly vision in my head, but I'm glad you like Thomas. Thanks for the comment.

 

Bill Hemmer on Living It up With Ali And Jack Show 


Jet: I just finished watching Bill on Ali & Jack and all I can say is "my oh my". What a beautiful man. He talked about work and even touched on the dating subject. Based on what he said there is no girlfriend around. He said he has a great example in his mom and dad who have been together for 43 yrs. I know he's looking for that same type of relationship and I am ready to give it to him.
What a wonderful, charming, sweet down to earth guy. he told a story about when he lived in Atlanta and had been covering the election in Florida. It was a real cute story. Let me know if you want me to post it.
Thanks for checking with CNN about the gifts Ann. I wonder if they are forwarding them to his apartment in New York. That may actually be better if that's what they're doing.
He said he was in his favorite coffee shop and the girl behind the counter said "you look just like this guy I've been watching on tv, I know you're not him but you look like him". She proceeded to say how obnoxious he was and how he asked the dumbest questions. She said she didn't know how he got hired. She then turned to get the coffe and came back and Bill said "I'm the guy". He said she turned red and he told her he appreciated the feedback and loved their coffee so he would be back.
I think this just shows how gracious and sweet he is. Even when someone was insulting him he was still a gentleman.
Hooray for Bill!!

Scarlet Termite: What a great story! That poor girl must have died a thousand deaths in a space of seconds! Jet, I'll arm wrassle ya for 'im!

Jet: Name the time and place Scarlet! I am really glad you all liked the story. I thought it was really cute.
I am sending Bill a b-day present for sure. I don't know about anyone else.
I have watched that tape from yesterday three times already. I used an old tape so I hope I don't wear it out. I can't resist though, he looks so cute. He is such a sweetheart. He proves what Veronica stated in her post and what we knew all along, that underneath that incredibly handsome, sexy exterior is a wonderful, sweet man with a beautiful heart. I am more in love than ever.

Ann Stewart: You Billy Babies are so cute when you fight. Are you guys gonna send Bill a b-day present? I'm going to send him some ties.

Scarlet Termite: Ok, Jet, but I gotta warn ya..my biceps are HUGE! They ah jest eNORMous! You so sweet, Ann. Sendin' them beautiful men some ties that we can tie them up with. I hope you got silk ties. They are much easier on the wrists and ankles. Buy Bill ties with Disney characters on them. Then include a note where you triple dog dare him to wear them on the air. Guys can't resist a triple dog dare.
Hey Bill! I TRIPLE DOG DARE you to come sweep me off my feet!

Happy Birthday Sanjay and Bill 

Ann Stewart: These two pictures are Bill and Sanjay when they were a bit younger. I think Bill was in High School and Sanjay was in College, but I'm not totally sure. I thought I would post this since both of their birthdays are coming up soon. Bill's birth date is reported to be Nov. 14, 1964. Sanjay's birth date is Oct. 23, 1969. Happy birthday gentleman. I hope all of our fun girlie talk about how sexy you are doesn't get on your nerves. We love you guys.

Jet: I'm thinking of sending Bill a birthday present. What do you think the chances are he will see it if I send it to CNN?

Scarlet Termite: What kind of present were you thinking of, Jet? Don't send him a clock. Packages that tick are generally frowned upon at CNN unless they are for Larry King (they can't get him to retire and are getting desperate). Maybe you could send him a puppy. But then again, he might get nervous to receive a box with airholes punched in it and big letters that spell out "Live Animal". I know!! You could send him a duck!

Sindhu Kumar: With Scarlet and Jet thinking about what to get Bill for his birthday, I am thinking what to give Sanjay on his birthday.

Ann Stewart: Bill and Sanjay's birthdays are both coming up soon. Is there anyway we can send them a gift? I would love to send them a present. Really I would. I would like to send them some nice ties for work. One of the ladies online said that Sanjay doesn't have many ties and I wanted to give him some. So does anybody know where we could send Sanjay and Bill some birthday presents? Does anybody have the address for CNN and if we send it to CNN will Sanjay and Bill get the package that we send?

Fun CNN God Talk  

JOY: I DID SEE BILL ON CNN A LITTLE BIT THIS MORNING. I TOUGHT ABOUT DOING WHAT ANN WROTE ON HIS PAGE AND JUMPING THOUGH THE SCREEN AND ATTACKING HIM, BUT I STARTED THINKING I MIGHT GET HURT. DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHEN ASH WILL BE ON AGAIN. ANN AND I BOTH TALK ABOUT HIM SOMETIMES. WE CALL HIM THE FINEST NEW MAN ON THE INTERNET. I REALLY LOVE THE WOLF BILTZER SHOW, BUT I JUST THINK HE A GREAT REPORTER. I TALK ABOUT THE YOUNGER GUYS LITTLE BETTER NOW THAT I KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THEM. I USED TO NOT REALLY CARE MUCH FOR THEM, BUT I FOUND OUT BILL IS A STRICK CATHOLIC AND I GUESS THAT ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I LIKE ABOUT HIM. I WROTE ASH-HAR YESTERDAY. I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHEN HE WILL BE ON AGAIN DURNING THE EVENING SO I WON'T MISS IT. I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO BE ASH-HAR'S UNDERWARE TOO. MAYBE BILL COULD WASH ME WHEN HE GETS DONE USING ME AND THAN GIVE ME TO ASH-HAR AND ASH COULD USE ME FOR A WHILE. I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN A DARK CRACK WITH ASH. I'M SURE I COULD WITH STAND THE SMELL OF THOSE 2 MEN. WELL MAYBE NOT!!!

Maria: You're crazy Joy. Are you saying up want to be up Bill's butt? U make me laugh Joy.

JOY: JUST BEING FUN MARIA. NO I'M SAYING I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO BE IN THEIR UNDERWARE'S SPOT. I THINK ASH IS A LIVING DREAM AND I'M JUST KIDDING CAUSE THIS IS ANN'S SITE AND SHE DOES THE SAME THING. SO I GUESS I CAN DO IT TOO.

Scarlet Termite: Joy, you are certainly a joy! Bill is doing CYA because the voters in LA county are using the same kind of punch card ballots that were used in Florida during the 2000 Presidential election. That's a good thing. It proves that he is trainable and has some retention. He's a good boy and will come when called. Well, not really because I call for him a lot and he never comes. Perhaps he has mayonnaise in his ears and he can't hear me. BILL! Go clean your ears! You nut!

Ann Stewart: Mayonnaise in his ears I love that Scarlet. Joy that underwear thing is so Joy of you. That's why I love you baby.

Jet: Joy--I like your underwear idea...I would love to be in Bill's underwear spot. I found out he is a strict Catholic a while ago. That is one of the things I love about him. In this day and age you don't find too many people willing to take such a strong stand on their beliefs. I really admire him for it. I'm also Catholic and I'm sure that's one of the things Bill would like about me.
Scarlet you are too funny with the mayonnaise in Bill's ears. I think you may be right though. I call for him all the time and he never comes. Well maybe he is saving that for when I am with him in person!!!!!!! Sorry, I couldn't resist! Speaking of his ears, I would love to just lick them and blow in them ever so softly. I bet that would get him hot real quick!

Ann Stewart: I wonder what lives in Bill's underwear? I wonder what size it might be? Is it a cucumber or a tator tot?

Jet: I'm betting on the cucumber but I love him so much I'll take whatever he has.

Scarlet Termite: Whatever is in God Gupta's underwear is probably curry flavored.
I would be ascared to speculate on what may be in Bills' underwear. It could be a tater tot. It could be a cucumber. It could be moving! It could be a horrible, bumpy tentacle, waiting to be released so it could wreak havoc upon the world...or just scare the guys in the restroom.

Ann Stewart: I would say it could be a large pink lizard. Just waiting to crawl in to a sandy hole to get out of the elements. You see lizards need a home so they can get out of nature's elements and for protection, so they will hide inside of holes so the cruel larger animals in wilderness won't eat them. The lizard seeks protection cause some cookabear creepy monster might come alone and try to swallow that lizard whole. Just a theory....What do you think?

Scarlet Termite: Wonder if Bills' underwear is decorated with little happy faces with glasses on?

Ann Stewart: I wonder if Sanjay's underwear has smiley faces with a doctor's stethoscope on them?

Scarlet Termite: Annie-- Sanjay undies has pictures of you on them.

Ann Stewart: Really Scarlet?--You just made my day, baby bug. I wish Sanjay really did have a picture of me on his underwear. I would so have his baby or his puppy or kitten or duck or anything he just wanted to have.

JOY: I'M GLAD SCARLET LIKED MY UNDERWARE JOKE. SCARLET IS COOL!!! I LIKE TO BUG AROUND WITH HER SOMETIMES. SHE'S GOT THE PERSONALITY FOR BUGGING AROUND.

Scarlet Termite: Oh Joy, you are making my antenna wiggle!! The underwear joke was hilarious!

Rena: Just stopped to say Bill Hemmer is fine

JOY: SO GLAD YOU ARE OUT THERE YOU LOVE BUG. I ALWAYS WANTED TO HANG OUT ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB WITH A LOVE BUG WHO'S ANTENNA WIGGLES. WHERE CAN I GET A WIGGLY ANTENNA? DO BILL HAVE ONE ON HIS BODY. IF SO CAN I PLAY WITH IT?
I REALLY THINK I WOULD RATHER PLAY WITH ASH-HAR'S ANTENNA. THAT IS BECOMING MY DREAM MACHINE. ASH-HAR COULD MELT A ROCK WITH THE HEAT ROLLING OFF HIS BODY. JUST LOOKING AT ASH-HAR COULD MAKE ME LAY LOTS OF EGGS. I FEEL ONE COMING OUT NOW I BETTER HEAD TO BATHROOM AND GET THIS EGG LAYED. I'LL TRY TO TALK AT YOU TOMORROW TERMITE. BE BUGGY FOR ME
JOY TO THE WORLD

Ann Stewart: Joy you are so funny. You are killing me you freak. Dark dirty angel.

Sindhu Kumar: Bill is getting grey as fine wine.

Jet: Bill's grey hair is wonderfully sexy. He is aging so beautifully I can't stand it! He still has that boyish face though.

Bill and Richard Reporting in LA on the Recall 


Scarlet Termite: I hope Bill respectfully inquires as to why CNN thought it was necessary to run him across the country when they already had beaucoup reporters out there. Guess they thought the "Chad Lad" would be a good choice to have on hand in case something went wrong with the election. And they stuck him in a studio to boot! Talk about surreal. Poor lil fella.

Ann Stewart: I love you Bill Babies. You are so cute on Bill. I watched Bill this morning and I just didn't think he was his regular cheerio self. I hope he gets a little rest. Did anybody see Richard Quest out in California? I heard he was there, but I didn't see him. I usually see Richard on the weekends sometime, but Sindhu and Carolyne said he was out in CA. Just wanted to know if anybody caught the funny man.

JOY: THEY PROBABLY WORE HIM OUT IN CALFORNIA. BILL WAS PROBABLY SO TRIED HE DIDN'T FEEL WELL. MAYBE CNN SHOULD GIVE HIM A VACTION DAY AFTER HE TAKES LONG TRIPS LIKE THAT. HE'S SUCH A DREAM BUG. I HAVEN'T SEEN RICHARD EITHER. I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF I DO.

Jet: Poor baby...he should never have to take a trip like that and be up at those odd hours and then fly all the way across the country to be at work again the next day. I also noticed he looked very tired yesterday and didn't seem to be himself. He stumbled over a few words and just looked kind of out of it. Poor little thing. He needs me to take care of him! FYI...I heard Richard was to be in California also but I didn't see him.

Scarlet Termite: Oh I have just cracked up laughing! Ann, all your friends make me laugh so much! I was looking at InfoHunks and clicked on Quest Quips and read that blogger’s description of Richard! A cross between Roger Daltrey and a Muppet! That was HILARIOUS! I am still giggling about that one.

Stu: Richard Quest is the ruler of all that is newsworthy! Thanks for the site, it gave me something to tell everyone I know about. It makes it a lot easier to prove how cool he is to my friends back in England when I have backup from someone else. He's made it worth moving to California. :D Richard Quest forever!

Ann Stewart: Stu that's a great comment I love seeing him on CNN too.

Sindhu Kumar: Amen brother stu!

Scarlet Termite: Bill gets told off to do stuff like that because not only is he a alien bent on world domination but he is a tireless robot as well! That also explains why his apartment is so neat. When he gets home at night all he does is plug himself into an outlet to recharge. His neighbors across the way are wondering what the little blinking red light they see in there all the time is. It's Bill!
The reason he looks tired is that he has been programmed with software that allows him to mimic human emotions and responses. Sometimes he has a glitch which explains why he makes such horrible jokes. It also is the reason why his mouth stays open for a few seconds after he stops talking. He has lag.

Ann Stewart: I love you Scarlet. Have you ever been to Bill apt.? Are you Bill in a Bug suit?

Scarlet Termite: No Ann, I have never been to Bills' apt. because he lives in a brick building and if I eat brick I have to take a Zantac afterwards or I will get the fluffies. And I am not Bill in a bug suit but maybe for Halloween I could be a bug in a Bill suit!

Ann Stewart: Scarlet Termite that is the coolest answer of the day.

My Funny Gupta Comment of the Day 


Ann Stewart: Dr. Gupta is so sexy. I mean is a man that smart suppose to look that good? It is torture to us women too to have to look at him everyday and not be able to have him. It's like waving the carrot in front of the horse off a stick that the horse can never reach. IT'S TOTAL TORTURE!!
 

Richard Quest is in California Reporting on the Recall Election  


Carolyne: Richard Quest in Los Angeles, California Mr. waffles and very funny so crazy

Ann Stewart: And Carolyne we will be watching for Richard. If anyone sees him on CNN please report his report for his fan site.

Laying Bill's Eggs 


JOY: BILL WANTS A SON? I DIDN'T SEE THAT ON CNN TODAY, BUT IF BILL WOULD JUST GLUE HIS LIPS TO MY FURRY DUCK. MY DUCK WOULD POP HIM OUT SOME LITTLE BOY BIRDS. MY DUCK WOULD BE HAPPY TO DO THAT FOR HIM. JET YOUR AN FUNNY FLYING BIRD TOO. HOW DOES YOUR DUCK FEEL ABOUT LAYING BILL HEMMERS EGG?

Scarlet Termite: Jet, you have to promise to stay married to Bill even if he snores or makes other uncouth sounds. You have to promise to stay married to him even if all he does on Sundays is watch football and eat. You have to promise to stay married to him when he sits and surfs the Web every night or reads every newspaper he can get his hands on and responds to you only with an "Um Hmmm..that's nice" You have to promise to stay married to him when he comes home and says," Honey, I have to go to Syria. I might get shot at but it's only for six months."
Can you do it, Jet?


JOY: I CAN DO IT. I'LL JUST FLY MY DUCK TO ANY COUNTRY HE GETS SENT TO. I KNOW I COULD DO IT SCARLET. SCARLET….BILL IS SO FINE, MY DUCK WOULD THROW HIM BREAD.

Jet: I promise to stay married to Bill no matter what. He can snore as much as he wants as long as he is doing it by my side. He can lay on the couch all weekend and watch football and eat and I would be very blessed to be able to look at this beautiful person whom I love. I would be very worried when he travels but that is his job and he loves it so if its what he wants then its what I want. And yes I would be thrilled to lay eggs for Bill! I only hope I get the chance.

Ann Stewart: Joy you and Jet can lay eggs for all the men at CNN. You can lay eggs for Richard Wolf Bill Sanjay Kris Ash-Har(I know Joy would love to lay a egg for Ash-Har), but I think you better ask them if they want to raise bird-humans first?

VERONICA: SAY ALL YOU WANT BUT LET ME SAY THIS... BILL IS A GREAT REPORTER. I MET HIM IN PHILADELPHIA DURING THE GOP CONVENTION AND HE WAS THERE COVERING IT. HE IS A GENTLEMAN, INTELLIGENT AND VERY MUCH DOWN TO EARTH. HE ALSO HAS SOME RELIGIOUS BELIEFS THAT ARE NOT TURN OFFS BUT HELP YOU UNDERSTAND HIM AND WHERE HE IS COMING FROM. SEX? YES. HE COULD MELT IRON WITH HIS SMILE AND HIS LOOK BUT PUT THIS ASIDE AND YOU GOT A GREAT GUY

Jet: I'm saving all my eggs for Bill. Joy can lay eggs for the others if she likes.

Ann Stewart: You know this egg laying stuff is funny. It's going to get a post in time. Bill Hemmer is going to think his site was made by a bunch of crazy women who lay eggs.

Scarlet Termite: Veronica, thanks for confirming what we all already suspected about Bill. He's got us hypnotized and laying eggs and babbling. I am awed by your presence. You have been smiled upon by Bill and lived to tell about it. I bet he was easy to talk to. You must know that we are all green with envy and plotting your untimely demise but not until we have pumped you for information. Ah yes..ve haf ways of making you talk.....Just kidding!

Talk On Tucker's Top 


Bowtie Baby: I heard a nasty locker-room rumor that Tucker Carlson's mane is really a shame. Is that a hair-piece or are people just jealous? (He's the only Republican I like).

Ann Stewart: Bowtie Baby where did you hear that rumor?

Bowtie Baby: News around the campfire says that a little bird told me that the horse's mouth came through the grape vine from a family friend that the rug is hiding Tucker's dining room dirt.

Ann Stewart: Bowtie Baby did you dig in that dirt?...or are you just spreading it around?

Bonnie: Carlson is wonderful.

 

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