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CNN NEWS MEN SUPER HEROES


THE FUNNY TALK PAGE

Pet me

Jay Leno's Joke of the Night 


Jay Leno: What is the difference between General Wesley Clark and President Bill Clinton?
General Wesley Clark knows how to control his Privates.

Billy Boy is Ruling the Roost On Girlie Fans 


Maria: I saw Bill Hemmer on CNN today. He was looking yummier than any food. Just taught I would add that.

Scarlet Termite: Ann. I got a unusual chance to watch Bill for longer than five minutes this morning so therefore I am feeling giddy. The man just gives me the cold prickles when I see him and it feels sooo goood....I know stuff, my dears, because I am that "bug in the ear" that you all hear about.

Ann Stewart: Scarlet Termite I have watched Bill all morning and I am looking at him right now. Oh he is so beautiful. If only I could have met him before he became a CNN God, I'm sure I'd have his baby now.

I got some triple God eye candy this morning. Bill Hemmer, Sanjay Gupta and Kris Osborn were all on American Morning. My heart is still pounding from it. Cool Jack Cafferty was rock'in too.

Billy Boy looks so cute in his glasses. Made me want to kiss his asses...Oh I'm sorry he only has one, but if he had more than one ass, I promises you I'd have kisses for all them. I can't just image what Bill Hemmer would look like with a bunch of different asses. Can you Scarlet?

Scarlet Termite: It boggles the mind.

Ann Stewart: Just want to say I love you Bill. Scarlet Termite--I love you too. You pretty little wood eating bug. Keep on whispering in my ear. Tell me things that I want to hear. That's true...that what I like about you.
I wrote that for you Scarlet.
Well not really...it's a song, but Scarlet I took the time to lye to you didn't I? That should show how much I like you hun?
Tell Bill I love him and since Sanjay won't give me the time of day, do you think Bill would go out with us Billy Boy lovers?
There are a lot of us. Me, you, Maria, and Rena could have a good Ol'e time together.

Sindhu Kumar: Hey Ann, I too like bill and may be he could go out with us and have a good ole time, since Sanjay does not give us any time of the day.

Ann Stewart: Well that's not really true Sindhu...cause Sanjay emailed me and Bill didn't.

Scarlet Termite: Maybe Sanjay doesnt' have a watch and therefore can't give you the time of day because he doesn't know it himself. Poor lil fella, adrift, confused, doesn't know where to go or who to give the time of day to. Maybe we should take up a collection and buy him a watch. Or maybe when we all take Bill out and get him drunk we can just relieve Bill of his watch. It looks like a nice one. He won't need it, tied to a chair all weekend...

Sindhu Kumar: Scarlet--You are making me laugh so hard.

Scarlet Termite: Thank you, Sindhu! My missions in life are to make people laugh and rock Bill Hemmers' world.

JOY: I WANT BILL TIED TO A CHAIR WITH WHIP CREAM ON HIM. I'LL START AT THE BOTTOM AND WORK MY WAY UP. JUST LOOKING AT BILL MAKES ME HORNY.

YOU KNOW I WENT OUT ON A DATE WITH THIS GUY 2 NITES AGO AND HE TOOK ME TO THE PARK, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE VERY ROMANTIC, BUT THE DAMN DUCKS WOULD NOT EAT THE BREAD WE THEW AT THEM. THAT TOOK THE ROMANCE RIGHT OUT OF THE DATE. I DON'T KNOW WHY, EVERYTHING WAS GOING GOOD UNTIL THOUGHS DAMN DUCK SCREWED EVERYTHING UP.

GOLDIE GIRL DID YOU EVER GO THOUGH ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

I WOULD LIKE A DATE WITH BILL HEMMER, THOMAS ROBERTS, OR ASH-HAR SHOULD ANY OF THEM BE SINGLE. I PROMISE I WILL NOT TAKE THEM TO FEED THE STUPID DUCKS. I WOULD TAKE THEM SOME PLACE SPECIAL. LIKE HOW ABOUT MY BED ROOM? THAT'S SOME PLACE SPECIAL ENOUGH.

Ann Stewart: Joy--Can't say it ever happened to me, but one time I went out on a date with this guy that slobbered all over his horse. He was like a real red neck cowboy, and he kept talking to his horse all the time...ya know like the famous Mr. Ed or something? It was so weird. He kept kiss'in and drooling all over his horse and then he tried to kiss me. I had to turn my head and run. I just can't lip lock with a guy, who sucks face with a horse.

Scarlet Termite: Ducks are notoriously uncooperative birds. Pigeons might be more cooperative but they poop more and nothing blows a romantic moment like bird poop.


Vic: Kris is way to pretty, 2 b straight!

Ann Stewart: Joy I think I heard that story once before...like yesterday.
Scarlet I love your comment to Joy. That's great...keep it up Termite. I just might let you eat the wood on my house. You deserve it for making me laugh. Scarlet Termite go check out the R U GAY website. Your Billy Boy is there. http://r.u.gay.worldbreak.comVic--you gonna have to fight us females for Kris. We'd like him too.

Silly Stuff on CNN Talk 


April Gifford: John King is the Hotest thing in News. I think Bill Hemmer is lovely, but John is real nice.

Sara: Hi Ann great site! I love Richard Quest, he makes my day. I happened to catch a CNN international show last night called Insight - they had a report from Ash-har Quraishi. He was on camera twice... One word - MEOW.

Stacy: I'll refrain from writing really cheesy love poems about Anderson, because, well, that wouldn't be so good...that would just spell out psycho.

Ann Stewart: Sara--Ash-har Meows? Oh dear God--I never Knew!!! He does have a sexy Kitty Cat look to him. I dig Richard too. He's a cool freak and Stacy I know how you feel about the psycho thing, cause I've been crush'in on Sanjay Gupta on the internet for a while now...Kinda like you've been crush'in on Anderson. Let me tell ya baby I wrote some things that made me scared the cops are gonna show up an my door or something and so far I haven't been arrested. So Stacy I think you can get away with writing psycho stuff on Anderson. I do it to Sanjay all the time.

Would You chose Spongbob or God Gupta? 


Leslie: Thanks for the birth date on Dr. G., btw. I did a little astrology chart on him. Not really accurate without a birth time and accurate place (I put Novi, MI), but fun all the same. Hope I don't get kicked out for liking the Big Brother show. Don't know if that would be something a Gupta Goddess would get into...


Ann Stewart: Big Brother sounds interesting. What station is it on? Tell us all about it. I usually only watch CNN. I know that's terrible, but I don't watch a lot of TV. Just the news and a few comic shows. I love Spongebob. Spongebob and I are lovers. Everybody thinks he's gay, but I know how big his hot dog is, and let me tell you he knows how to use it. Even if it is smaller than my pinky. Spongebob is a great lover...even with a small dog.

Sindhu Kumar: Leslie--our doc Gupta is on the cusp of being a Scorpio, isn't he, since we don't know the actual time of birth.

Leslie: Yes Sindhu--Sanjay is on cusp of Scorpio being October 23. Officially (at least according to my astrology software) he's a Libra. My birthday is on the OTHER cusp of Scorpio, November 21.

Ann,--Sanjay has Mars, the planet of passion, in Capricorn. I don't know how good that is, because to me it seems he'd be more passionate about work than anything else (Cappy rules the house of career). Lots of sweet Libra in his chart, not just the sun sign.

PS Ann, would you give Spongebob up for God Gupta?

Ann Stewart: I'd give up my own ass for God Gupta.

Leslie: You better not, b/c God Gupta might want that ass ;-)

Ann Stewart: I was just planning on shaving a little off. Since we are talking about asses. I wonder what kinda ass God Gupta would like. Round, flat, bubbly or what?

Sindhu Kumar: Ann, Leslie, you girls are making me laugh so hard.

Leslie: Does God Gupta have a cute ass? Has anyone seen him from behind???? Does it matter with that beautiful face? I have to admit, first I look at a man's eyes, then his hair then I always check out the tush. But I wouldn't care if God Gupta had the ass of an ironing board, I'd still think he was hot.

Ann Stewart: Leslie you want to know why I love God Gupta? It's for the work he does. It's not that's he's beautiful, he could be butt ugly, I'd still love him. Now he's defiantly fine, but even if he wasn't I'd still shave my ass off for him. Any women would be proud to stand next to a guy like that. I was so proud that he was the only one with the skills enough to surgery in Iraq. I'm proud of him for the education he tries to give people and I think he's an angel sent to earth by God himself. He's just pretending to be a mortal man.

Leslie: That's a lovely thing to say Ann.

Ann Stewart: Thanks Leslie--your a pretty sweet thang yourself.

Sindhu Kumar: y'all two sweet thangs: I have to agree with y'all.

Ann Stewart: I love you Sindhu. If I had to choose between you and a big fluffy gj;awlj...I'd chose you Sindhu.
I really don't know what that is. Maybe you can figure it out.

Sindhu Kumar: y'all means you all, ann. got it?. Love you Ann, Leslie. I am off to watch season premiere of law order on NBC and the California debate on CNN.

Ann Stewart: See ya Sindhu...I'm going to take a much needed bath. I smell like a thang.

Leslie: Naw, you just smell like a Gupta Goddess! ;-) You ladies have a good evening. I'm off to bed soon, have to be up at 4 am to get ready for work, OY!

Ann Stewart: Goodnight Leslie...Please come back tomorrow. I'm getting emotionally attached to you.

Richard's Nephew or Grandson Loves Him Enough To Write in for His Fan Site 

Julian Conway: I am Richard Quest's grandson. I think my uncle is really cool.

Ann Stewart: Julian that is so sweet you wrote in for your uncle or grandpa or whatever. It's so nice to have family members write in. Julian when you figure out which one you are let me know...OK Sweetie?

 

Dear John Please Eat!!! 


Ann Stewart: Dear John King...I have been watching you on CNN for years now and I remember when your face was a little rounder and I thought you looked beautiful. Now you got me worried. You are getting so thin. Where's the rest of your face at? Are they not feeding you at the Whitehouse? John you're a beautiful man, but you have to eat or you'll die. If you need anything to eat just call me. I'll make you a nice rump roast.
 

Billy Boy Doesn't Like To Talk About Marriage On CNN 


Ann Stewart: Has anybody ever noticed how uncomfortable Bill Hemmer gets when anybody brings up the word marriage on his American Mornings show? Today I was watching CNN's American Mornings, and marriage expert Mr. Molloy was on talking to CNN anchor Costello. Ms Costello stated 'most men don't want to get married cause they think like Bill' and Bill said 'when does this segment get over with?'

Billy baby no wonder you're a bachelor. You won't even talk about marriage? Are you afraid some woman's gonna come along and wrap the ball and chain around your neck or something?....Or are you scared you're going to lose all your female fans if someone sticks a ring on your finger? Well Billy baby I'll let you know, I know these chicks online that are burn'in up for your love. If you get married many will cry, but they are still gonna dream about you. Bill I want you to get married so I can come to the wedding and sexually harass Sanjay Gupta. Just kidding Bill....I hope you find Ms. Right, cause a lot of women desperately want to be Mrs. Hemmer. I know this one hot chick that said she'd like to breast feed you. Scarlet Termite wrote in with 7 good reasons why Bill isn't married yet.

Scarlet Termite: Ann--Seven reasons why Bill Hemmer isn't married, yet.

1. He's really a space alien bent on world domination and is merely on CNN to lull us into a false sense of security.

2. He is really a cross-dressing exotic dancer named Yvonne.

3. Jack is already married.

4. Andersons' nose is too big.

5.He's waiting to win the Powerball.

6. He can't get married in any month with an "R" in it and he's booked the rest of the time.

7. He has a bet with George Clooney as to who is going to go first.

Talk on Talk of Men 


Stacy: Found this hilarious site tonight that you all gotta check out: Talk of Men
It's the "fix" you need if you find yourself shamelessly crushing after that cute anchor you see on cable news...
Lord knows I've always had a soft spot for Anderson Cooper...

Ann Stewart: Thank you Stacy for that kind comment on your blog. I will be linking my site to your site since you did it for me. I agree with you about the crush you have on Anderson too. He's a hot-eared Vulcan. There are a lot of girls who would like to nibble on those Vulcan ears of his.

Maria: Anne--I'm so glad to see the pictures of Bill back. I read what you wrote. OH MY GOD...You're crazy. I hope he don't read that part where you said I'd be tasting his hot dog. THAT WAS SO FUNNY. When I said yummy I didn't think you would go that far with a remark, but I really think your funny.

Ann Stewart: Thanks Maria--I didn't mean to embarrass you. Just hoping to get some giggles coming my way.

Ash-har Quraishi Request 


Mike Rynish: What...? What...? What a trip!!!! I had no idea that somebody would actually start up a Website in honor of the guy I've been watching every single morning on CNNI since forever. I'll tell you this much, the man is definitely different and entertaining. I love the way that he and Jenny Harrison interact (on good mornings). It's fun to watch the business news with his mob each day. You never know what they're going to do next.
More power to em'.
Mike Rynish

Ann Stewart: Thanks for that repost on Ash-har Mike. My friend Joy has been looking for him.






 


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